What's right with Maine

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My Thoughts on Communication (What Works for Me)

We seem to live in an increasingly polarized social environment.  The majority of current generations present ideas based on hearsay and emotional attachment to seek external validation from like-minded individuals, rather than to convince others. Many seek to persuade based on personal agendas.  Convincing arguments based on thoroughly researched concepts have been hijacked by a “me first” train of thought.  If there has been a time where the majority is concerned more with their fellow man than themselves, this is not it. As a result, reasonable communication is now more important than ever. Below are communication tools that I have collected through personal experiences and the observation of others.  These tools have been used to successfully communicate with individuals not only from the US, but worldwide. While cultures can vary from border to border, basic human nature does not. This gives us a common ground from which to base our communication with others from. Recognition of this is critical in order to effectively communicate with those who do not necessarily understand or agree with one’s personal culture of beliefs.

Highlight similarities among groups and build trust prior to discussing contentious issues. Blunt discussion can lead to the perception of an attack, rather than a conversation or argument. This will disengage other parties rendering one’s argument neutral.

Stay calm. Your emotions can be used as a motivator, but do not involve them to the point that they cloud your judgment. Curtail aggression, and focus on your well thought out concepts. This will allow you to more freely express the points of your argument rather than engage in a tit-for-tat fight.

Be self sustaining, and help others when you can. This is an investment in the future of your social environment. Both positive and negative attitudes are highly contagious.  Lead by example and encourage others to do the same.  Do not engage or tolerate negativity (i.e. sarcasm, bullying).

Do not lie, whether spoken or by omission. Do not manipulate. Whether you recognize it or not, your intentions will be realized by others. Honesty from the beginning is the best policy. Armed with well thought out ideas based on reality, there is no reason to distort the truth.

Speculation can be perceived as commitment, especially outside of the US.  Never promise or commit to something that you may be unable to follow through on.

Understand the other side of the conversation and the motives that have produced it (why). Their concepts can be used to enhance your argument, or you may realize that your concept is erroneous. 

Seek to educate others on the matter, or to educate yourself.

If you are wrong, admit it. Use ideas and concepts learned to further your intelligence and refine your points of view.

If you aren’t wrong, continue to enhance your argument using well thought out concepts based on facts. However, do not push the argument to the point where others become disengaged.

Do not terminate relationships with those who disagree with you.  Seek to learn from them. Less is accomplished by preaching to the choir. Personal growth is the result of learning from others.

Mind your body language, and be aware of others’.  Look for signs of extreme emotion, and tread carefully. A positive relationship must be maintained. Less than positive body language may be indicate that it is time for a break and /or a return to common ground.

Have reasons for your concepts and thoughts based on facts rather than emotions. Good intentions based on emotions can fail if there is insufficient evidence to back them up.

When it comes to image, perception is reality. You must put yourself in the shoes of others to determine your credibility. If you lack credibility, determine why through self-reflection. Constantly identify and improve on your shortcomings.

Observe, observe, observe. This will allow you to realize that sticking a paperclip in a live electrical outlet is a bad idea, without actually doing it yourself.